Tuesday, January 12, 2016

That's It! I Quit! My New Attitude for 2016

Oh, the freedom of being me!

I was raised in the Midwest where people simply didn't quit things. I was told at a young age never to quit--that it was somehow a sign of weakness to say, "You know what? This doesn't work for me so I'm out of here!' 

"Once you commit to something, you stick it out," is what I heard growing up. And I'm all for being committed, for working hard, and being diligent, but there does come a time when you need to reevaluate what's good for you in the long term. If the situation is no longer healthy--mentally, phyiscially--if it's no longer pushing you toward your goals or complementing your highest purpose, then it's time to quit.

How many times have you heard someone saying that they "can't" quit that job that makes them miserable? Or that they "can't" leave an unhealthy relationship because of "loyalty" even if they may be in physical danger or emotional peril?

What is all this "can't" business? That implies that we are prisoners of our own making. Every moment of every day we make choices that drive our happiness. What is more immobilizing and disheartening than saying, "I can't leave this job" or "I can't leave this friendship because I've known her for twenty years even though we have nothing in common anymore" or "I can't leave him because he would be devastated."

Who is in charge of your life? The word can't immediately removes the power from your own hands and gives it to someone or something else.

Your happiness is your responsibility. Take charge of it. Don't settle. Don't waste one more minute of your life doing something that isn't serving your highest intention for yourself. If you're not on the right path, change course. If you don't want to spend time with someone because they suck away at your energy, then don't. If you are in a job that is slowly killing you, start looking for a new one today.

Quitting is not the same as "not trying" or "giving up." It is taking your power back to control your destiny and live from a place of positive intention.

“Employ the power of positive quitting. Most of us view quitting as something negative, but it’s not. ‘Winners never quit,’ we’re told, when, in reality, winners quit all the time: choosing to stop doing things that aren’t creating the results they desire.” – Jim Allen

Because we confuse the quitting with giving up, we attach shame to it. Your heart usually knows when it's time to quit, but your mind convinces you that there's something inherently wrong with choosing to let go. Shame...it's a destructive and insidious emotion. Quitting is an action with power behind it--you are saying that the situation you are in today no longer fits where you want to be tomorrow. It is an intentional act.

Giving up, on the other hand, is feeling defeated, no plan of action, no direction. It is powerless. It is stagnation.

“When you quit all the things that aren’t working for you, when you quit tolerating all the negative things that hold you back, you’ll create a positive ‘charge’ in your life as well as create the space in your life for more positive experiences.” – Jim Allen

When you force yourself to do things simply because you fear being labeled a quitter or because of some misguided loyalty, you are expending more energy than you would if you were doing something that made you happy. How exhausting is that?

  • Quit being concerned about what others may think about your life.
  • Quit social media "scrolling" and use that time on yourself. 
  • Quit the job that's slowly killing you. 
  • Quit postponing happiness to "someday". 
  • Quit waiting for perfection and start living today. 
  • Quit comparing yourself to others--even to expectations you had for yourself. 
  • Quit making yourself anxious by sticking it out with someone who simply isn't good for your well-being.
  • Quit one-sided relationships. 
  • Quit trying to make other people comfortable in your presence--laugh out loud, be uncensored, be you at all times. 
  • Quit movies or TV shows you don't enjoy--time is precious.
  • Quit feeling guilty for pursuing your own happiness. 
I've quit people who bored me and tried to make me smaller than I am. I've quit writers groups filled with not-so-nice people. I've quit meeting people for activities that didn't interest me after realizing I was only going because I wanted to "fit in"...but that wasn't being true to me.  I've quit making excuses for saying 'no.'

When you start quitting what no longer works for you, you'll make space for all that will take you where you want to go.

Wishing you all green lights and happy moments...
Amber Lea Easton

Amber Lea Easton is a multi-published author of romantic thrillers, contemporary romance, women's fiction, and nonfiction. She also writes five different blogs, volunteers for children's literacy, and advocates for suicide awareness. In addition, she is a professional editor and mother of two extraordinary human beings. She currently lives in a small cabin high in the Rocky Mountains where she is completely aware of how lucky she is. To find out more about her books, please visit http://www.amberleaeaston.com


Pandora Spocks said...

Really great points! May we all find that freedom. :)

Gale Stanley said...

Great Post! Sharing this...

Maya DeLeina said...

Great advice. Sharing!

R.B. O'Brien said...

No question that doing what we love and getting rid of the things that bring us stress versus happiness is very important. Time to reevaluate, adjust, and make some decisions. Love reading your posts.