Sunday, April 15, 2012

The World Needs Romance

When people discover that I write romance, I usually get the following questions as a response: Why write romance?  Don't you want to write something more serious, more relevant?  In return, I ask, what's more relevant than love?
Love makes a life.
I loved my late husband. He made me laugh, told me every day how much he loved me, opened my mind to things I would never have tried, and balanced my frantic energy with his more mellow self.  But when he killed himself, people wanted me to hate him.  I have actually been asked, "why don't you hate him?" I don't hate him because I loved him.  He was more than a guy who killed himself.  He was the guy I married, the father of my children, the man who made my heart skip a beat every time I saw him.  He lived well and died young. How he died is irrelevant; how well he loved is all that matters now. 

Love heals.
It is often easier to be angry or bitter rather than forgiving and loving. I don't know why this is, but I have found it to be true.  People tend to see anger as a sign of intelligence or as a signal to others that they can't be messed with. Back off, the anger or bitterness shouts to protect a wounded heart. I know this tactic.  My former mother-in-law and I have had our differences since Sean's suicide.  We played the blame game.  What we both lost sight of was the fact that we both loved the same man--she her son and me my husband.  From that mutual love comes healing for ourselves and for the children involved. As with most things, underneath the anger and bitterness is love waiting to be recognized.
Love hopes.
I am fortunate to know a lot of great couples--happily married or simply building a life together.  They have endured loss, trauma, financial issues, health challenges, alcohol abuse or gambling problems yet are still standing.  They stay together through the ups and downs not out of co-dependency or need, but because they love one another.  Their love gives them hope that tomorrow will be better.  Their love gives them hope that the bad times are temporary.  Their love gives them hope because they know that no matter what loss or challenge is thrown at them, they have each other.  They walk with the gods because they know love is not always blissful or secure--rather it is messy and needs attention.  They know the secret.
I write about love because I believe in its power to overcome everything--even if my storyline throws in some spies, human smugglers, kidnappers, murderers or what-not.  My intent as a romance writer is to lift people from their everyday troubles and entertain them for a few hours.  Maybe I will make a difference in a small way if I can make them smile or forget.  More importantly to me, writing about love--with some twists and turns thrown in for fun--makes me happy. 
I believe that the world needs more romance and laughter.  When we are old or sick or scared, what is more relevant than love?


Jan Romes said...

Beautiful post, Amber :)

Amber Lea Easton said...

Thank you. As usual, just putting my two cents in. :)