Sunday, September 2, 2012

Embrace YES!--Be Sexy Series

For the third installment of the Be Sexy series where I'm talking about how YOU can ramp up the sexy in your life, I'm writing about always saying YES to playing and connecting with your significant other!  This series is about bringing the sexy back into our lives--even if you're flying solo at the moment. may not be able to control other people, but if you feel confident and sexy, it's amazing what can happen in the romance department.  Trust me...I'm a romance writer. *wink*

Let's face it, when we're bogged down with heavy burdens, we're not gonna feel too sexy and are more inclined to be bitchy.  If you're looking at your significant other and only thinking about the bills or that idiot at work, then you're wasting an opportunity for happiness and human connection.

I'm asking you--no, no, no I'm urging you--to stop the madness!  When you're 90 years old, are you going to be thinking, "wow, I'm so glad I stressed so much about bills and getting sleep when I was young and didn't have sex as often as I could have because now I'm...well, now I'm 90?"  NO!  Hell, no!

I know it's hard...I know we all get tired and stressed...but what better way to rejuvenate than to connect with your significant other?  Say YES to a quickie in the morning...or at lunch...or in the shower...or before bed even though that report is due in the morning...whatever.  Say YES!

It's funny how we're a society of no when it comes to anything to do with ourselves.  Guilt consumes us if we miss work or can't volunteer at school...for those things, we usually say yes without question, yet are quick to say no to anything pleasurable for ourselves that we may deem "frivolous".  Being happy is not frivolous.  Connecting with our lover is not frivolous.  Establishing memories with the important people in our lives is NOT frivolous.

Are you understanding this?  Say YES to your own happiness.  That's sexy.  Need help remembering how to play?  (Don't worry if you do, it's a problem many adults have.)

  • Play hooky for the sake of playing. Convince your significant other to do the same--spend the entire day in bed, even if it's just talking or napping in between making love.  Go to a matinee and hold hands over the popcorn.  There's something very sexy about "being bad" no matter what your age is.  
  • Role play.  Have your significant other pretend to pick you up in a bar and play hard to get--make him work for it.  You'll end up laughing at the silliness of it all later...but that's what you need to do...LAUGH.  Or let him be the Professor while you're Mary Ann and you're both stranded on a desert island (that's my age showing there...remember Gilligan's Island? LOL). You get the idea.  Add some fun into the mix.
  • Speaking of fun--sex toys, people!  They're not just for the fringe--why should they have all the fun?  Spice it up in the bedroom, experiment a little, go out of your comfort zone, say YES to some adventure that rips the sheets from the bed.  
  • Do something that you used to do before the kids came along or before the jobs became too demanding--head out for a night of dancing or playing pool.  When you do this, you remember each other as you used to be before "life" got a hold of you, you remember what attracted you to each other in the first place.  This isn't the same as date night, which I think is kind of lame.  This is simpler than that--no expectations of "we must now have a date night and absolutely no talking about the kids".  What I'm talking about here is simply doing something you used to do, maybe laughing over old times, reconnecting on a basic level.  No rules.
  • Speaking of rules--screw 'em.  Why do we as adults suddenly make up rules for our significant others?  Stop it.  If he wanted his mommy, he'd have never left home when he was 18.  A little bit of freedom shows respect--and that's sexy.  Do you want a man or a castrated, beaten down shell in your bed?  Personally, I prefer a man.  
  • Always say yes to sex with your significant other.  Now this may tick people off--but I'm talking about CONSENTING sex here--and, of course, if you're sick then it's probably a no go.  However, if you're simply tired or reading or watching your favorite television show (hello--DVRs have a pause button!), then get over yourself and realize that you have an opportunity to share yourself with someone who wants to share themselves with you.  That's amazing--celebrate it.  Sex is about connecting, intimacy and love.  Never use it as a weapon--that's hurting both of you.  Like I said above, when you're 90...or when you're widowed...or when it's simply too late...what will you regret more?  The sex you had or the sex you avoided?  
Say yes to adding fun back into your life. Play! Laughing is sexy--being tired and bitchy 24/7 is not.

Did you miss the first two installments of Be Sexy? The art of kissing...Let's Strip!...comment on those, too, for more chances to win in both my giveaway and the grand prize Romancing the Hop giveaways.  Say YES to winning! (Wow, I just channeled Charlie Sheen for a minute!) 

Novels by Amber Lea Easton

Amazon Bookstrand
AmazonBN,  Bookstrand.

New Release available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords

Feel free to comment but the giveaway has ended. Thanks! 


Dovile said...

I'd like a gift card to Thanks for the chance!

spamscape [at] gmail [dot] com

Patti said...

Thanks for participating! Really like the hop so far!! I love reading, especially romance. I love reading contemporary, historical and erotic romance. I love the happy ending that is garenteed at the end. My favorite book is Lover Mine by JR Ward! I love John Matthew and Xhex. My favorite romantic moment was when my fiancé asked me to marry him! We meant two years ago right around when summer was ending! I think it is romantic when he brings me flowers because no one else has ever done it! My friend and I went out for our last big night out before classes started again. Thanks so much! Hope everyone else is having a great long weekend!!

susan1215 said...

Thanks for the giveaway, I'd like the Amazon GC

s2s2 at comcast dot net

Cassandra said...

Thanks for the awesome & amazing giveaway!

Liese2 said...

Thanks so much for the chance to win! I would love the Amazon gift card.

Veronika said...

I'd like to enter for the Amazon GC! Thank you for the chance to win!
verusbognar (at) gmail (dot) com

Kaylyn D said...

I agree say yes as much as possible! A healthy sex life means a happier relationship. I would like Amazon if all possible. Thank you for the giveaway.

AnnaM. said...

Thanks for participating in the hop! Great post. You're right that people deny themselves quite often. It's sad.

doxisrcool at aol dot com

Anonymous said...

Interesting post. You brought to light some great points.
Thanks for participating in the hop and giving us all a chance to win, and share our stories.

Daph said...

I love this blog hop!! Hello *waves
I prefer an Amazon gift card. Thank you

Kim D said...

Thanks tons for the hop!

Shadow said...

Thanks for the awesome hop and giveaways! This is so much fun! Thank you! My favorite thing about romance is the romance. lol I love the characters, the plots, the HEA's, the love. I love it all!

Krystal Shannan said...

Thanks for sharing. Love the blog, great hop!

Vanessa N. said...

Great giveaway. Thanks for the chance. I'd like the Amazon gift card.

Anonymous said...

Never stop having fun....even at 90

Amazon card please

Brandi Slater said...

Thanks for being part of the blog hop and for the giveaway!

Stacey Joy Netzel said...

Great advice, Amber! Thanks for the post! staceyjoynetzel at gmail . com

donnas said...

Thanks for being in the hop!

bacchus76 at myself dot com

Cryscringle said...

I must say, I really love your tips. They sound so simple to do as well, haha. :) Thank you so much for sharing them and for the giveaway. I'd prefer an Amazon GC.

Crystal Craig

Qwillia Rain said...

I'd have to go with Amazon.
For me, romance is all about the trust and respect built between the characters. Since I write BDSM, these elements are very important.
Thank you for participating in the blog hop!

Michele said...

I love the escape of romance novels!

Either gift card would be great, but Amazon is king!

shermie40 at yahoo dot com

booklover0226 said...

If chosen, I would like the Amazon GC, please.

Thanks for another great post.

Tracey D
booklover0226 at gmail dot com

rubyswan said...

The author that I fell madly N love with is someone truly special I call ur my FIRST LOVE & it just so happens 2 B the name of some Poetry I wrote 4 her. Even now it brings happbe tears 2 my eyes. It's bcause of her the love I feel N my heart is renewed evertime I read Romance.It's a feeling like no other feeling I pray I 4ever have's like falling N love over&over again..bellow this best describes my feeling 4 Romance & Ms.Gwynne Forster's Beyond Desire
Pleasingly weak, Captured I glory in this rarity one of a Kind, For my soul mind & my will is lost forever in images of Visual Art in time. I Must confess that, I'm left to moan & groan nor do I have desires of it to leave me along! Nonethelesss..I'm a slave to it's pull & caress.. My problem is quickly solved..I'm Captured, my will shatters into a million pieces & dissolvess.. Seduce without shame, I'm a lover of the Visual Art's game..I'm weak from starts..of this Visual Art, deep down in my heart..I'm destine to forever seek.

Daniel M said...

great advice there and would like amazon - regnod(at)yahoo(d0t)com

Unknown said...

I love your Charlie Sheen reference! Great ideas. Some of my most romantic moments with my husband are when we play hookey from work while the kids are at school. There is just something about savoring the time we have.

Amazon is my choice of book buying materials.

bournmelissa at hotmail dot com

Sherry said...

Thanks for the giveaway.
I'd like the Amazon GC.
sstrode at scrtc dot com